Genesis IV: Conceived in Innocence
Book of Ruth, Chap 1, verses 16-17
_And Ruth said...onto Naomi..., Entreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God:
Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me._
Good Friday 8 pm
"Mom, this is Marsh Black."
Margaret Scully extended her hand to the tall, raven-haired woman standing next to her daughter. "Come in, both of you. How was the drive?"
Scully blushed unaccountably, careful not to look in Marsh's direction. "Fine, Mom, the usual."
She felt, rather than heard, Marsh stifle a laugh.
Good Friday 5:30 pm
Dana Scully looked at the long line of stopped traffic and knew that the short trip to her mother's house was going to be a very long ride. She glanced at her lover, who was leaning back in the passenger seat, long legs spread out as much as the Porsche would allow. Marsh's eyes were closed, and her breasts rose and fell gently under her cotton tee shirt with the rhythm of sleep. Marsh's left hand lay on Scully's thigh. Scully traced tiny patterns on the soft skin with a fingertip, marveling at the delicacy of the fingers that could turn her body to molten fire with the merest touch. *I wonder how long it will be before I can look at her without wanting her*
"I can feel your eyes on me," Marsh murmured. She threaded her fingers through Scully's, her lids still closed.
"Can you?" Scully said throatily. She continued her slow perusal of the woman who had captured her heart. She envisioned the tight pink nipples under the stretched white fabric, and the flat plane of her abdomen sloping down, beneath the denim and buttons, to the soft dark hair between her thighs. Marsh's legs were slightly parted, and Scully remembered being between them the night before, holding Marsh's swollen clitoris in her mouth, sucking her slowly toward climax. The muscles in Marsh's belly had fluttered under Scully's hands as Marsh got ready to come.
Scully swallowed the lump of desire that threatened rational thought. Thank god they were barely crawling, because she couldn't keep her attention on the road. "Your beeper interrupted us last night," Scully said, her voice thick with the memory. "I didn't get to make you come." She was wet thinking about it.
Marsh opened her eyes, turning to her with that crooked grin. "I took care of that in the shower."
Scully arched an eyebrow. "Oh, did you now?"
"I had to. I was about to explode. I'd never have been able to walk to the car, and I had to get to the hospital."
Scully glanced ahead. There was no sign of a break in the traffic. "Tell me about it."
Marsh's surprise quickly gave way to intrigue. "There's not much to tell," she said softly, watching Dana carefully. She could just make out the beginning of a flush on her neck. *Jesus, she's excited* That realization brought a flood of warmth between her own legs. She shifted slightly inside her jeans. "You had me so ready," Marsh murmured, "I thought I'd die if I couldn't come. I was aching."
Scully tightened her grip on Marsh's hand. "What did you do?"
"I used my fingers," Marsh said thickly, remembering the orgasm that bent her double with its force the moment she slid her clitoris between her fingers. She'd shouted as the spasms hit, clutching herself tightly with her palm, hips pumping, trying to keep her balance on quivering legs.
"Show me," Scully said hoarsely. *I wish I had seen you. You're so beautiful when you come*
Marsh let her other hand fall against the soft worn denim covering her crotch, spreading her fingers slightly, drawing them slowly up and down the seam. Her breath caught as the vibration tingled through her clitoris. *Oh! I wish you were touching me*
Scully looked from Marsh's hand moving between her legs, up to her lover's dark eyes, growing liquid now with arousal. "Open your jeans," Scully whispered, amazing herself with her words. *You make me crazy, Marshall Black*
Marsh's eyes widened, excited and uncertain by turns.
"It's all right," Scully said. "Only I can see." Her heart tripped harder as Marsh pulled the buttons of her fly apart, lifting her hips enough to expose the damp hair beneath. Scully knew very well she wouldn't be wearing anything underneath. Marsh started to slide her hand inside. "Uh uh," Scully said quickly. "Not yet. Reach up under your tee shirt. Squeeze your nipples first--both of them."
"Jesus, Dana," Marsh gasped, her nipples stiffening instantly. She squeezed first one, then the other, to the rhythm of the blood pounding in her pelvis. She groaned, her thighs clenching; she was never going to last.
"Tell me what you feel," Scully rasped, quickly glancing at the traffic, which was mercifully still not moving.
"They're hard." Barely a whisper. "And--oh god! I can feel it in my clit when I twist them!" Marsh shifted on the seat, grinding her thighs together, becoming more engorged by the second. "This is torture!"
Marsh ran the flat of her hand from her nipples down her belly, brushing the hair below. That was enough to make her clitoris twitch. "Let me touch myself!"
Scully was having trouble keeping her hands off her lover. She had both hands on the wheel now, grabbing it so hard her knuckles were white. *If I so much as put a finger on her I'm going to come myself* She forced her voice not to shake. "One finger, Marsh. And don't touch your clitoris."
Marsh's hand flew to her crotch. "Ah, god," she cried, just grazing the tense hood, feeling the tremors through to her spine. She turned bruised eyes to Scully, clinging to the thin edge of control. "Please-- I want to make myself come," Marsh whispered, her throat so tight she could barely speak. *I don't think I can keep from touching it*
"Circle it. Stay off the tip." Scully was beginning to twitch, somewhere near the base of her clitoris. *I'm not even touching myself!* Her breathing was unsteady now. "Talk to me, Marsh," she gasped.
Marsh drew a shaky breath. "My clit is standing up --oh!, uh--god, it feels huge. If--if I just press--oh, --I --can't--"
*She's going to come. I can tell from her face* Scully stopped breathing, in awe of the beauty.
Marsh was whimpering brokenly, low cries paced to the jerking of her hips. Suddenly her eyes grew wide. "I'm gonna come, Dana, I'm gonna come," she warned frantically, biting her lip hard. Her fingers worked herself faster.
Scully could feel it starting now, a deep gripping eruption of pleasure so intense it was almost painful. Her gasps matched Marsh's. Her vision tunneled but she forced herself to focus. She would have to ride this one out with her eyes open.
Marsh kept her eyes open as long as she could, watching Dana's face fade and then come into crystal clear relief at the moment she began to come. As the muscles in Marsh's thighs clenched and her clitoris exploded, her only awareness was of Dana, filling her vision, eclipsing reality. She closed her eyes as the orgasm ravaged her, arching her neck against the seat, clenching her jaw around her screams.
"Ohhhh," Scully half cried, pushing back against the seat, stiff arming the wheel to keep upright. Scully came just seeing Marsh's face as she shuddered into orgasm.
"Oh Jesus," Marsh gasped a lifetime later. She still held herself, slowly coaxing the last tremors from her now hypersensitive clitoris with long, firm strokes. "Ahh-hh." She raised heavy lids with effort, finding a flushed and triumphant Scully grinning at her. "Are you absolutely out of your fucking mind?" she managed to croak.
"Thank you, Jesus," Marsh said fervently.
Scully shifted into gear as the traffic began to edge forward. "Jesus had nothing to do with it." She fixed Marsh with a stern look. "And next time, wait for me."
"Or what?" Marsh laughed as she began buttoning her jeans. "You'll punish me by making me come all over myself again?"
Scully smiled, a deeply satisfied smile. "Well, there is that, I guess."
"Dana! Are you going to stand in the door, or are you going to come in?" Mrs. Scully asked, wondering at the odd look on her daughter's face.
Scully jumped, her color reddening even further. *Not now, Dana. Definitely not now!* She pulled Marsh inside by the arm. "I'm sorry, Mom. Just daydreaming."
"Take Marsh into the living room and get her settled. Then come help me finish dinner."
Scully gave Marsh a drink and the remote control. "I'll call you when it's ready," she murmured, leaning down to brush her lips quickly across Marsh's.
"Are you sure about this?" Marsh asked for at least the tenth time.
"I can't very well keep you a secret if I'm going to have any kind of relationship with my family, now can I?" Scully replied, her expression radiating calm. *And I don't intend to leave you behind every time I visit. I hate being apart*
Marsh nodded, still worried, but trusting her lover's judgment. "What ever you want, Dana."
"I want you to relax, Dr. Black. Doctor's orders." She left Marsh stretched out in her father's old recliner. There was something oddly right about seeing her there.
"Okay, Mom, what can I do," she asked, joining the other woman in the kitchen.
"Keep me company while I put a few things together. And you could fix me one of those highballs your father used to make."
Scully mixed the drink, and hoisted herself up on the counter out of her mother's way. She remembered sitting up here as a child, watching her mother cook. She hadn't been quite this comfortable at home in years. *And you should be nervous as a cat!* Being with Marsh had given her life a balance, a certainty, it hadn't had before. For the first time since she started med school, she could see a future that felt right to her.
Margaret Scully studied her daughter out of the corner of her eye. She looked different. She was still too thin. She'd never regained the weight she'd lost during that wretched chemotherapy, but now she appeared merely slim, not gaunt and hollow. Her eyes were sparkling, her skin was glowing, and she seemed to have lost that tightly wound coil of tension that had shimmered so near the surface this past year. Something had changed. *Why is it I never seem to know what's happening with her? Melissa always talked to me about everything, but not Dana. So many secrets!*
"So, tell me about your friend," Mrs. Scully said conversationally, shredding lettuce into a bowl. *Why haven't you mentioned her before?*
*Friend* The word rankled, but now was not the time. "She's a surgeon, Mom. We met at the hospital."
"Have you known her long?" She started in on the carrots. *I'm surprised. You haven't brought a friend home in years*
*An eternity, a minute, forever* Scully shifted on the hard formica surface. "A few months."
"You must have a lot in common." Dicing onions now, a few reflex tears in her eyes. *She must be special. You haven't let anyone close to you in years*
*We love each other, Mom* Scully jumped down, gathering the plates. "Yeah, we do. Work--"
Scully nearly dropped the stack of dishes at the sound of a strangled cry from the other room. "Oh, god," she gasped, running from the kitchen, her mother close behind.
Marsh fought her way through the blinding glare, resisting the relentless voices, struggling against the terrible heaviness in her limbs, desperately drawn toward the one sound she trusted.
"Marsh! Marsh, honey, wake up. You're all right. You're safe," Scully repeated softly, taking Marsh's trembling hands in hers. "Marsh, wake up."
"Oh, god, I'm sorry!" Marsh exclaimed, bolting upright in the chair, staring from Scully to her mother. "I fell asleep. I'm so sorry!" She slipped her hand from Scully's grasp, wiping the beads of cold sweat from her forehead. *Great impression, Black! She'll think you're a lunatic!*
"It's okay," Scully said as evenly as possible, aching to hold her. This was getting ridiculous. Nightmares, every time she went to sleep. Marsh couldn't go on this way, and neither could she. Scully touched Marsh's damp hair briefly, just to brush it off her forehead. "Go wash up. The bathroom's down the hall," she said softly.
Scully worriedly bit her lip, watching her lover wearily cross the room, wondering if she shouldn't have insisted Marsh see someone as soon as the dreams began. Marsh had resisted, saying she was fine. *Goddamn stubborn pig-headed surgeon!*
Margaret Scully watched her daughter watching the tall, whip slender stranger with the soulful eyes. She had never seen that combination of fierce protectiveness and unbridled tenderness on Dana's face before.
"Is she all right?"
Dana looked at her mother, all barriers down as concern for her lover took precedence over everything else. "No. But she will be. I'll make sure that she will be."
"Bring her into the dining room. Dinner's ready," Margaret Scully said, turning away from what she saw in her daughter's eyes. The only word she had for it was love, and that was a word she wasn't ready to contemplate.
Scully lay awake, trying not to disturb her still sleeping lover. She leaned back in the pillows, cradling Marsh's head against her breast, running Marsh's soft wavy hair through her fingers. This was the first night since they visited Boston two weeks ago that Marsh had not awakened drenched in sweat, twisting in the sheets, struggling with some half-formed memory. Scully smiled. Maybe it was all due to her tender ministrations of the night before. Marsh had fallen asleep pretty quickly after their lovemaking. Remembering spurred a twinge between her legs and a slight quickening of her pulse. She shifted slightly, running the fingers of her free hand up the inside of her thigh. She was wet.
Marsh awakened slowly, Dana's heart beating beneath her cheek. Not wanting to break the peaceful spell with words, she nudged Dana's nipple into awareness with the tip of her tongue. When it was erect, she moved her head a fraction and caught it between her lips. She smiled as Scully hissed her approval. Slowly, she teased it, rolling it back and forth, sucking, first hard, then barely a whisper of pressure. The rhythm was a soothing, lazy hypnotic. There was no hurry. They were two felines, lolling on a warm rock on some long forgotten savanna, a curling, shifting mass of indolent muscle.
"I'm not going to be any good to you. I don't think I can move. It feels wonderful, but I'm so content I can't even muster a lustful thought."
Murmured words, still half asleep. "So don't move. In fact, don't move. Don't talk. Just be still and feel me."
Scully considered it. How strange, to willingly give so much control to another person. *oh, shit* Marsh had one finger in the moisture pooling in the warm folds between her legs. Scully unconsciously opened her thighs to admit Marsh further. Neither of them spoke. She stopped thinking. Sharp twinge in her nipple. A bite. *Ahh-- Christ, I can't do this* Now the fingertip was separating her, exploring the soft inner reaches below her clitoris. *That spot--right there. Yesss* Totally relaxed, completely aroused. Immobile, every sensory fiber centered in one pulsating point, a fraction of an inch above that maddenly slow-moving finger. *Jesus, just slide up a little. Oh, yeah -- almost there--* A whisper of air from the open window, blowing cool across the exposed, sensitive tip. *Touch it, come on--uh, yeah--just slide back the hood* Tension building, straining through the motionless limbs, tightening the taut belly further. *Oh, fuck--I want to come* That finger dipping rapidly downward, then dragging the thick shimmering nectar up and over the tip, spreading it along the shaft in quick, light circles of pleasure. *Oh yeah-- that's gonna do it, baby-- making me come--* Hips lifting. *Uh, oh-- it's coming - ahh-* Half strangled cry, trying so hard to hold on, beginning to arch off the bed, pelvis thrusting, heels and head anchored. *Ahh, FUCK--* Rolling paroxysms, beating through her pelvis, twisting into her thighs, curling through her belly--
"Marsh!" Scully cried, grabbing Marsh hard enough to leave marks on her arm, jerking against her now, heaving with the repetitive explosions. When the tetanic convulsions released her, she fell limply back against the pillows. "God."
Marsh smiled, a secretive, seductive smile. "God had nothing to do with it." Then she went back to sleep.
5:10 pm Saturday
"How do I look?"
"That should please your mother."
Scully grinned. "Turn about is only fair, my darling--" Remembering Boston and her own uncertainty when meeting Marsh's mother and grandfather.
"This is different! My family knew we were lovers when I brought you home!"
Scully's expression grew solemn. "Somehow I don't think it's going to matter what you look like when they find out."
Marsh sat on the end of the bed, studying her lover. "Why are we doing this now?"
"When should we do it?"
"After they get to know me--when they're used to us being together."
Scully shook her head, her lips tight. "I'm not going to be paranoid about every word I say to you in front of them, or try to remember not to look at you like you mean something to me! And God forbid, I might touch you like you belong to me! You're my lover, Marsh. Pretending anything less would be a lie. And unless you think that's going to change, there is no better time."
Marsh was on her feet in an instant, her arms around Dana the next. "Of course I don't think it will change! I love you! I just wish I could make this easy."
Scully tilted her head to look at her, still amazed at the presence of this woman in her life. Dark serious eyes gazed back from beneath even darker hair, her face reminiscent of the Grecian statues that depicted women in the same bold lines as men. Marsh was so solid, so certain in her devotion. She was finally something Scully could trust.
"You do make it easy. Loving you is the simplest thing I've ever done." Scully leaned back in Marsh's embrace, casting an eye down her sinewy length. "Blue is your color, and silk has such a nice feel under the fingers," she commented huskily. "You're perfect."
8:40 pm Saturday evening
Margaret Scully's Home
Dinner went smoothly enough.
As soon as Charlie discovered Marsh was a pilot, he monopolized her attention during the entire meal discussing engines, turbo feeds, and other mechanical esoterica that no one else could understand. Scully recounted their day's adventures at the Baltimore aquarium and described shopping along the waterfront galleria to Bill's wife Tara. The only time Bill didn't look bored to tears was when he was bringing them all up to date on his latest professional accomplishments. No one asked Scully or Marsh about their work. The first ripple on the deceptively placid surface came over coffee.
"So, are you Catholic, Marsh?" Bill asked casually.
Marsh turned from Charlie to focus on the man who was eyeing her intently from across the table. *He wants to know what I'm doing here* She shook her head. "No, we're Unitarians."
He laughed, but there was an a edge to it. "So how did my sister get you to come all the way here for Easter mass?"
Scully's hand moved gently onto Marsh's thigh under the table. *Don't forget I love you*
Marsh never moved her gaze from his. "She asked me to."
Bill's voice was steely. "That's all it took?"
"That's all it took." Marsh sipped her coffee, noting the look of irritation he quickly suppressed. *Your ball*
He leaned forward slightly, his body tense, and then he let the serve sail past. He wasn't quite sure he knew the game. "You'll probably be disappointed."
"I don't think so."
"Marsh didn't come for the service, Bill," Scully said calmly. "She came to meet Mom and to spend the weekend with me."
He looked from one to the other. Their bodies weren't touching, but he sensed they were connected nevertheless. "Can't be much of a vacation--just the two of you."
The lean muscles under Scully's fingers grew tight. Her lover was starting to get annoyed. Her brother would not fare well, she feared. "So far it's been great." She looked to her younger brother. "What do you say to a little friendly game of poker, Charlie?"
Charlie grinned. "Come into my parlor, sucke-- er, sister."
An hour later and twenty dollars down to the table, Scully went in search of her mother, who had been strangely absent since dinner ended.
Dana found her mother sitting alone at the kitchen table, a glass of wine, apparently untouched, in her hand. "You've been in here a long time. What's going on, Mom?"
"Why did you want to stay at a hotel? There's plenty of room, even with Bill and Tara here."
*Here we go* Dana sat down across the small maple surface from her mother, feeling as if an ocean separated them. "It was more private." *We haven't been away alone, ever, and we wanted to be able to make love"
"You never needed to stay at a hotel before." Mrs. Scully searched her daughter's face uncertainly. *Why would the two of you need privacy?*
"I stayed at the Hilton with Jack Willis, that Christmas," Dana reminded her gently.
"But that was different--wasn't it, Dana?" Mrs. Scully asked, holding her breath unconsciously. *How could it possibly be the same?*
"Yes," Scully responded firmly, "it was different." She took a breath, saying out loud what she had only been saying to herself these past few months. "I never loved Jack the way I love Marsh Black."
"But you slept with him."
"Are you sleeping with her, too, then?"
"When were you going to tell me?" Margaret Scully questioned, unable to hide her bitterness. *You've never really trusted me, have you?*
"I am telling you! Mom, Marsh and I are lovers. I love her."
"But how could this happen? You're not--you've never--have you?" Mrs. Scully asked, suddenly unsure. *Maybe I don't know you at all*
Scully reached for her mother's hand across the gulf. "No, Mom, never. But that really doesn't matter. I'm with her now."
"But have you thought about this? What about your job? What about marriage and --" Oh, god, she'd almost said children! Is that what this was all about? Some reaction to everything Dana had been through? Melissa, the cancer, then the infertility-- "Dana," she began cautiously.
Scully interrupted her. "Mom, I know this seems strange, but it isn't really. We're two people who love each other--it's as simple as that. She makes me happy, she makes me feel safe, she makes me feel -- sane. I have every intention of spending the rest of my life with her."
"Dana, do you expect me to suddenly believe that you're a lesbian?"
Scully almost smiled. "Well, Mom, the answer to that is in the other room beating the pants off the boys at poker."
"This is hardly the time to get smart, Dana Katherine Scully!"
Scully squeezed her mother's hand, nodding. "I know, but it's hard for me to be upset over something that's made me so happy."
*Happy. When is the last time she seemed happy* Margaret Scully clasped her daughter's hand. "I know how hard it's been for you, Dana. How much you've sacrificed. And I can imagine how lonely you've been. But a woman? There must be men--"
*Steady on, Dana. Give her a chance* Scully chose her words carefully. She didn't want there to be any doubt about her feelings for Marsh. "I'm surprised, too, Mom--at least I was for about the first five minutes. I can only tell you that being with her feels as right as anything I've ever done. No one has ever given me what she does, or ever could. No one could ever replace her in my life."
Margaret Scully looked at her daughter's hand resting on hers. Dana's fingers were tapered and graceful, strong in a delicate way. A woman's hands. "And the physical part? Is it necessary?" Her voice was tight with the effort it took to acknowledge the nature of their relationship. *How much could that really matter?*
Scully pictured Marsh in the other room, sleeves rolled to mid-forearm, slightly flushed from the wine and the pleasures of victory, leaning forward over her cards, a hint of breast revealed through the open top buttons of her silk shirt. Just the image of Marsh's body called to Scully, stirring her blood, making her fingers itch to lightly trace the curve of her ear, down the creamy column of her neck, along the ridge of collar bone to --"Yes, Mom," Scully said softly. "It's necessary."
"I'm going to need some time to think, Dana," her mother stated. "It's so far from anything I ever expected--"
They were interrupted by an exuberant Marsh holding a plastic bag of change aloft. "Dana!" she called as she walked into the kitchen, "I've won our gas money ho--" She stopped, staring at the two women seated at the table. Margaret Scully was looking at her as if she'd never seen her before. Of course, she hadn't, not the way she did now. "Ah," Marsh murmured, looking to Scully for a sign. *Should I leave?*
Scully smiled, unable, unwilling, to hide the pleasure Marsh's presence always evoked. "Come on in, honey. Sit down."
Marsh took the seat between Scully and her mother. "Dana's told you about us," she said softly, meeting Mrs. Scully's piercing gaze. *Please don't hurt her because of me*
"Yes." *How is it you've been able to do what no one else could?* She looked down at the table. Marsh's hand was just touching Dana's. Larger than her daughter's-- long, lean fingers--still, a woman's hand. She averted her eyes from that simple sign of possession. "Does your family know about Dana?"
"We visited two weeks ago." *She stole their hearts, as easily as she did mine*
"And are they happy?" Margaret asked sharply. *Am I the only one who doesn't understand this?"
"They've had a lot longer to get used to the idea," Marsh replied quietly. "They expected a woman."
Margaret looked quickly at her daughter. *So she's experienced at this sort of thing?*
Scully read her mother's mind. "Mom, I'm sure you don't want to hear the details--but Marsh did not exert some strange influence over me. I wanted her; I wanted this."
Dana's mother rose from the table, looking from one to the other. "I don't for a minute think anyone is capable of leading you somewhere you don't want to go, Dana. I'm embarrassed to find I'm not as liberal as I thought. It's different when the issues affect you personally. I'm glad you told me, and Marsh is welcome in my home. For now that's all I can say."
Dana nodded. "We'll see you at mass, then." She hadn't known what to expect. For now she would be content with honesty.
11:30 pm Saturday night
"How are you doing?" Marsh asked as she leaned against the bathroom door, watching her lover remove her make-up and do all the little before-bedtime things that Marsh found fascinating. Dana had been quiet on the ride back from her mother's.
Scully wiped the last of the mascara from her lashes with the small cotton pledget, peering into the mirror, looking for any smudges. "I'm fine."
Marsh was silent.
Scully looked from her own face in the glass to Marsh's reflection. Her dark eyes were concerned, her expression patient. *How is it you know me so well, so soon?*
Scully turned, leaning back against the counter, her fingers curled over the smooth edges. Her eyes were an even deeper blue than usual. Two tiny lines creased her brow. "I was hoping it wouldn't be such a shock for my mother, I guess."
"Parents generally expect their children to grow up to be heterosexual. It's usually a surprise when they don't."
"I know. I always seem to be presenting them with surprises."
"Like--?" Marsh asked, reaching out a hand.
"Like leaving medicine and joining the FBI. Major disappointment." Scully allowed herself to be led into the next room, where Marsh had turned down the sheets and dimmed the lights.
Marsh slid under the covers and tugged Scully down beside her, slipping an arm around Dana's shoulders and settling her smaller lover into the curve of her body. "I'm sorry I never got to meet your father. I can't believe he wasn't proud of you. It takes a lot to finish medical school and make it in the bureau."
Scully didn't bother reminding Marsh that she had accomplished the same thing, at a younger age than Scully. "I think he was, but it still wasn't what he had hoped for me. Somehow we never got around to talking it out, and now--" She tightened her arm around Marsh's waist, rubbing her cheek gently against Marsh's breast. *I swear I will never let that kind of silence separate us*
Marsh gently massaged Dana's neck and shoulders as they talked, finally feeling Dana begin to relax in her embrace. "Your mother loves you, Dana. That's the most important thing. She may never completely understand what we feel for each other, but then who ever does with any couple?" Marsh shifted her hips as Scully slid a leg across her thighs. *I hope to god she'll accept us someday. I love you so much*
Scully turned enough to kiss Marsh fully on the lips. "Yes, but I want her to know how happy you make me, and how wonderful you are."
Marsh smiled against Scully's skin, fitting her leg between Dana's, gathering her close. "You don't want much, do you, Dr. Scully?" she asked as she slipped one hand up to the underside of Dana's breast, squeezing gently.
"Only everything, Dr. Black," Scully murmured against Marsh's mouth, stretching out on top of her, closing her eyes as the familiar fire began to burn. *Only you*
They didn't hurry. They didn't need to. What they sought, instinctively, wordlessly, was that unique harmony of spirit only physical union could bestow. Scully moved against Marsh's body, their nipples, erect and sensitized, rubbing against each other, their legs scissored so that their wet, exposed clitorises touched fleetingly -- the intermittent flickers of contact tantalizingly exciting. Hands stroked breasts and buttocks, squeezing, gently probing, guiding their movements over and into one another. Their skin became moist with sweat as they teased and incited each other, neither wanting to give in to the explosion inexorably gathering in their bellies.
"I want to come with you," Scully gasped against Marsh's neck, her legs trembling. She rubbed herself up and down Marsh's thigh, her hips jerking slightly with the friction against her clitoris. "Oh, god, Marsh. It feels so good!" She moved faster, losing herself as the muscles in her pelvis gathered for the internal contractions. "Oh, no--I don't want to come--" she cried desperately.
Marsh reached for Dana's hips, lifting her up and away from her leg. "Swing your legs up here," Marsh directed, her voice tight. Her clitoris was twitching wildly. She was dying to be touched. "Let me lick you."
"Oh, Christ," Scully groaned. "I won't be able to stand that."
"Then suck me first," Marsh begged, raising her hips, settling Scully's knees on either side of her face. "Please--put your mouth around me--" She waited, her face a breath away from Dana's moist, hot center, every muscle tensed. Then she felt it -- soft warm lips pulling gently at her engorged clitoris, sending waves of pleasure coursing through to her spine. "Ohhh--,"" she whimpered, her breath catching in her chest. She pulled Dana closer to her, spreading her open with the fingers of one hand. Marsh could tell from the size of Dana's distended clit that she was ready to come. She began to stroke her with her tongue. Long, sweeping caresses over Dana's swollen inner lips, circling her hard, pulsating clitoris, pausing to push her tongue inside her, coaxing the juice from within onto her lips. She swallowed, sucking the tender flesh into her mouth.
Scully moaned as Marsh worked at her with her lips, clamping her mouth around Marsh's clit, shaking her head from side to side with the excruciating pressure pulsing through her belly. She pressed harder against Marsh's face; Marsh beat her clitoris with her tongue. Scully jerked once, hard, as she started to come. She clung to Marsh's hips, sucking at her madly, pulling her into orgasm. Their cries blended into one peal of agonizing ecstasy as every inch of their bodies fused.
When they could move, they shifted to face each other, surrendering to sleep wrapped in each other's embrace.
Easter morning, after services
Scully found her lover relaxing on a stone bench behind the church, waiting for her. She slid onto the broad seat beside Marsh, taking her hand gently. "You look lost in thought," Scully remarked.
Marsh smiled, moving closer so that their thighs touched. "I was thinking about Mrs. Dovocek, our housekeeper. When I was a child, her English was a little fragmented, and she used to lapse into Russian frequently."
Scully studied Marsh's face carefully. She had been awake half the night again, despite their lovemaking, and she looked weary. "And--?"
"Does the term 'black death' mean anything to you?"
Scully shook her head. "No. Why?"
"Mrs. D would often call my grandfather 'Mr. Black' in Russian, and I keep hearing someone asking me, over and over, something about 'black death' in my dreams."
"That's what you were trying to remember the first night we were in Boston," Scully said with certainty. "Mrs. Dovocek's accent probably triggered the memory, and your dreams." Scully's stomach knotted painfully.*Maybe she does know something about what happened at Ruskin Dam. Oh, god, does that mean she's still in danger?* Scully took a deep breath, steadying herself. She needed information if she were going to protect her. "What else can you recall?"
Marsh grimaced. "Not a thing. I know there's something else, but I can't quite get it."
"I'll mention it to Mulder. It might mean something to him."
"I feel so damn helpless!" Marsh exclaimed. She was used to be in control of her life, and this nagging torment was getting to her.
Scully squeezed her hand reassuringly. "We'll figure it out."
Marsh nodded, shaking the tension from her shoulders. "What did your priest want to talk to you about after the mass?"
"He asked me to look into the death of a child, the daughter of a family in the parish."
Marsh looked surprised. "Something suspicious?"
"I'm not sure. I told him I'd talk to the girl's family tomorrow."
"So you're staying here for a while," Marsh questioned quietly.
"Just for a day or so. Do you mind driving back alone?"
"No," Marsh said, her tone curiously flat.
Scully searched Marsh's face, saw the uncertainty clouding her eyes. "What are you thinking?"
"Is it really about a case?" Marsh asked, "or do you need some time away from me?" *Are you going to leave me now, now that you know how hard it can be to love a woman?*
Scully turned to face her fully. Her blue eyes were snapping. "Damn it! Is there some test I haven't passed yet, Marsh? Some lesbian initiation ritual I should know about? What is it going to take to make you believe that I love you, and that nothing is going to make me leave you?"
Marsh looked away, tears brimming in her dark eyes. "I keep expecting to wake up and find you gone," she whispered.
Scully's anger evaporated instantly. She slipped her arm around Marsh's waist, leaning against her, wanting to enfold her completely in the safe circle of her arms. "I'd move in with you today if I could think of some way to avoid questions at the Bureau. I want to spend my life with you, Marsh. I just haven't worked out all the details yet."
"What about your family, Dana? Your brother Bill keeps looking at me like I'm about to steal the silver! He knows something's going on, but he hasn't figured it out yet. He's going to be rabid when he does. And your mother's not happy -- she thinks I've seduced you into this, but she's too polite to say so! People -- women -- have split up over less!"
*Why didn't I realize how threatening this would be for her!* Scully took a deep breath. "Marsh-- honey -- I don't know about other women like us, how they handle it. I love my family, including my brother Bill. He's rigid like most military men, and traditional in a way that is more ignorance than intent. But he loves me, and when he understands how important you are to me, he'll come around. Charlie's a sweetheart. He'll be fine. Mom--" Scully sighed. "She's going to need some time. I saw her on her way in to see Father McClue as I was leaving. I can just imagine what that about!"
"I don't want to be the one to come between you and them!" Marsh insisted.
*Now she's going to be noble. Goddamned surgeons -- they've all got a god complex* Scully's eyes narrowed slightly as she fought with her temper. "What if they don't accept us? Would you let me go?"
"I--," Marsh couldn't bear to think about her life without Dana. "Oh, Jesus--"
"Would you?" Hard, pushing her.
Marsh trembled slightly. "I couldn't," she whispered. "I couldn't go on."
"Well, neither could I, goddamn it! I love you, and if I could stand up in this church with you, in front of God and my family and everyone else in the world and say so, I would!"
Marsh stared at her, hearing her anger, hearing her need to be believed, to be trusted. "Are you by any chance proposing to me, Dr. Scully?" she asked softly, smiling through her tears.
Scully released a long, tremulous breath, letting go of her fury. She leaned forward, in the garden of the church in which she had been baptized, in the daylight, unafraid -- and took Marsh's face in her hands. She kissed her, slowly, not with urgency or concern for retribution, but triumphantly, claiming her and the love they shared. When she could bear to leave the warm, yielding sanctuary of Marsh's mouth, she pulled back only far enough to look into Marsh's eyes. She stroked the hair back from her forehead, traced the sharp line of her cheek down the angle of her jaw, brushed her finger tips over her lips, wet from their kiss. She wanted her in a way that transcended the physical, that went beyond simple possession. She wanted their lives, their futures, their eternities, to be one. "Yes, Dr, Black, it seems that I am."
Marsh rested her forehead against Scully's, covering the hand that caressed her face with her own. "Then I accept."
Easter Sunday 3:30 pm
Margaret Scully's home
"Are you out of your fucking mind?"
People seemed to be saying that a lot to her lately. "No, Bill. I am very much in my control of my faculties."
"Um, Bill--" Charlie began.
Bill turned on his younger brother, his fists clenched at his sides. "Shut up, Charlie. You're never around when there's a problem in this family, so don't interfere now!"
"Wait a minute, Bill! Charlie can't help being stationed where he is -- and this isn't about him anyway! It's about me!" Scully protested. They were huddled under the oak tree in their mother's back yard, where Scully had asked them to meet her so she could tell them about Marsh. She had sent Marsh to check out of the hotel before they all had a late lunch together. So far, things were going about the way she expected.
Charlie ignored his brother, leaning over to kiss his sister's cheek, whispering, "Way to go, sis -- she's a looker, and a damn good card player." He left the two of them to round up his sons for a little football.
Bill struggled to keep his voice down. "Okay, Dana--you and --Marsh--are having an affair." He ran his hand distractedly over his close-cropped hair. "I can't believe I'm saying this." He stared at her as if he didn't know her. "It must be some kind of delayed reaction to your illness--"
Scully tried not to laugh, but she couldn't hide the grin. "As far as I know, cancer does not cause lesbianism."
"Jesus Christ, Dana! This isn't funny!" Bill snapped, turning toward the house.
Scully reached for his arm, stopping him. "You're right, Bill. It isn't funny. But it's not a family tragedy either. I'm in love with a woman -- a good, kind, decent woman who happens to love me, too."
"It's not that simple!" Bill snapped. "What about your job! What about your reputation? Maybe people in Washington, DC don't mind this kind of thing, but the rest of the world might!"
"Who are you concerned about? Certainly not me. I've never been happier." She suddenly realized that that was true. She had been many things until now -- proud of her accomplishments, certain of her responsibilities, more or less pleased with her work -- but never happy.
"What about Mom?" he said accusingly.
"What about Mom? For god sake's, Bill -- give her a little credit. She's not going to fall apart!"
"She'll be hurt," he said, wanting to hurt Dana, not even sure why. He saw her flinch, knew that he had. It didn't make him feel any better.
Scully sighed. "I know, and I wish I could change that. I think she'll be okay with it eventually."
"You're being selfish, Dana," he said curtly, trying his last shot.
She looked at him in surprise. "Am I? Because I want to be with the only person who has ever made me feel safe, and cherished, and whole? I should give her up because the neighbors, or the church, or the goddamned FBI doesn't approve? I don't think so!"
"What about for your family, Dana?"
Her blue eyes turned to ice. "Don't ask me to choose, Bill. Marsh is my life."
They stood at an impasse, bound by childhood love, but separated by a lifetime of differing goals and expectations. They stared at one another silently until they realized they were not alone. They both looked toward the house as Charlie, his sons, and Marsh came down the lawn. Scully felt, rather than saw Bill's shoulders stiffen.
"Don't, Bill," Scully warned in a voice only he could hear. "This isn't her fault."
He bit back the angry accusation he was about to throw at the woman in the jeans and tee shirt walking toward them. There was something in his sister's tone that sounded almost threatening. Something he was not at all sure he wanted to provoke. He settled for a muttered curse to no one in particular as he brushed past Marsh on his way to the house.
Marsh looked after him in surprise, then turned worried eyes to Dana. "Well. Charlie shook my hand and said it was good to have another poker player in the family. I guess Bill isn't quite there yet, huh?"
Scully laughed despite her irritation at her brother. "Bill is a lousy card player." She slipped her arm around Marsh's waist, giving her a quick hug. "Let's say he's less than ecstatic."
Marsh squeezed Scully's hand where it rested on her hip. "You okay?"
"Yeah. It isn't the first time Bill and I have been at odds. We'll work it out. What about you?"
Marsh tipped her head toward Scully's younger brother and nephews. "I've been elected to run post patterns for football practice."
"Huh?" Scully asked. *God, now she's starting to sound like Mulder. It's probably Charlie's influence. Maybe I shouldn't have brought her home*
Marsh laughed. "We're just going to toss the ball around for a while. Unless you need me?"
"No--stay. I'm going to help Mom. I'll call you for food, okay?"
Marsh turned away from Charlie and the boys, looking intently into Scully's face. "Okay. I love you, Dana."
"I love you, too. Now go."
Margaret Scully found her daughter in the kitchen, leaning against the sink, staring out the back window. She poured herself a cup of fresh coffee from the pot Dana had brewed and went to stand beside her. She followed Dana's gaze, and watched her son and grandsons running up and down the yard. She watched the woman Dana was watching, too. Marsh was graceful and quick on her feet, and easily outran Charlie for the ball the boys were throwing. Margaret wondered if she would have noticed there was something just a little masculine about her, if she didn't already know about her and Dana. Her and Dana.
"I talked with Father McClue about -- this," she began.
"I thought you might," Scully answered evenly, still watching Marsh. *I've never seen her quite so free. She is so lovely*
"I didn't mention your name."
"It's okay, Mom, if you need to. We're not hiding."
Mrs. Scully nodded. "He said the church is quite clear on this. It's considered a sin-- not the love, but the -- the physical part."
*A sin* Scully looked through the glass at her lover, her head thrown back, laughing at something Charlie said. She could love the way Marsh's hair whipped about her face when she ran, and the lean sinewy elegance of her body, as long as she didn't brush that untamable stray lock from her forehead or lie down beside her at night. *A sin* She could love Marsh for her nobility of spirit, for her honesty, for her deep caring, as long as she didn't express the intimacy of those emotions with her body. *A sin* She could let Marsh soothe her and comfort her with her words and her constancy, as long as she didn't let her speak those passions with her hands, her mouth, those sweet lips. *A sin*
She turned from the image of her lover to meet her mother's questioning gaze. "Then I will gladly be a sinner, if that's what it means to love her. What we have between us is pure, Mom, and good. It arose from the simple desire to comfort, and heal, and nourish one another. It was conceived in innocence, not born of sin. I will never believe that."
"As sure as I am that you and Daddy loved each other."
"You would risk your career, your whole future, -- maybe your soul -- for her?"
"Wherever Marsh goes in this life, and in any other if there is one, I'm going with her."
Margaret searched for any doubt in her daughter's eyes, any hint of uncertainty. There was none. What she saw was the same resolute determination she had seen in those blue eyes since Dana was a little girl and had made up her mind to do something. She sighed and slipped an arm around her daughter's waist.
"You always did have to be different."
Scully laughed, but her eyes filled with tears. "I wish you could know how happy I am, Mom."
Margaret looked out the window at the stranger who had rent her world asunder simply by her presence -- just in time to see her ten year old grandson blind side her with a tackle, sending her sprawling face down on the ground. Dana stiffened beside her.
"Oh my god," Scully cried when Marsh failed to get up.
Margaret restrained her from dashing outside with a hand on her arm. "Wait a minute, Dana -- I've seen this move before."
Scully stared at her mother. "What are you talking about! He could have broken her leg for god's sake! Let go!"
Scully stared out the window, her heart pounding. Charlie Jr. ran to where Marsh lay motionless. Scully's throat ached. *Get up, baby, please*
Just as the boy leaned over, Marsh rolled onto her back, grabbed his legs and pulled him to the ground. In the next instant she was sitting on him, tickling him while he screamed with laughter.
"I'm going to f--," Scully glanced at her mother. "-- freaking -- kill her for that!" Her stomach was still fluttering. "How did you know?"
"Your father used to do that all the time with the boys." She turned away from the window, reaching for her apron. "Now go get your --girlfriend-- for lunch."
Two hours later it was just getting dark. Scully helped Marsh carry what was left of their luggage down the walk in front of her mother's house to Marsh's Porsche.
"I'll pick you up in a few days?" Marsh asked. *God, I wish I didn't have to leave*
"I'll call you when I've talked to the girl's family. Maybe I'll need to look at the autopsy report. It shouldn't be long." *I miss you already. I've gotten used to sleeping with you every night*
Marsh glanced toward the house. "Do you think things will settle down about us?"
Scully tossed the bags into the trunk, then reached for Marsh's hand. "Well, we know you're a hit with Charlie, and Bill will just need to rant a while. Something happened for my mother this afternoon, watching you outside. She had something very interesting to say while you and Charlie and the kids were getting cleaned up."
"She said it was good to have the house full of love again."
Marsh gasped in surprise. "You think she meant us?"
Scully wrapped her arms around her waist and kissed her, hard, before stepping back, still holding her hand. "We're the only newly-weds."
Marsh laughed, bending her head and returning the kiss swiftly. "Not so fast, Dr. Scully. I expect a right and proper ceremony some day."
Scully smiled. "That can be arranged, Dr. Black."
DISCLAIMERS: The characters of Scully, Mulder, Skinner and others/events introduced on the X-Files are the sole property of Chris Carter etc, and are used here without permission for entertainment, not for profit.